Part of Me Has Been Fellen Apart

My crush getting married. Simply beyond unimaginable.

As far as my concern, I have long history to fall and got back it again. Learn alot of things and decide my own decision. She knows my feelings, but not my action. Kind of weird and jerk at the same times. I dont think we have the same common things about true love, about sacrafice, and becoming loyal. Or we have the same principal which was grow that way, sacrafice, loyal, but for different purpose.

I love you, you know that. But universe tell me to get the fuck off. I know, for some reasons I just dreams, and daydreamer more interesting than the real of you. I know, more ego of myself to keep this feeling and not to share to you. I mean, I do understand for all circumtances, I made this decision.

Life must go on, they said. True. But watching them from afar, make me happy and pain at the same time. Happy that finally you married a man that you love, a man that you forgiven, a man that make you happy. Congratulation for you, and that man. Both of you deserve a better world. Pain, such a pain. I dream it in me one day, me, myself, stand behind you at the wedding. Simply I don't have any idea, but a true dreamer.

You have my back. You have to fight. You have my word. simply, you are the best things i ever dream of. Wonderful landscape, a smile you can't argue. Totally agree with sentence that people impersonate. Funny, kinda funny voices, but my heart melt just like that. In different universe, I hope I can do well. But in this universe, I learn. Hell, your smile is the one of greatest things. A treasure. And a small smile from you, is my change world. But with me, you can't do that. Once again, my mentality problem and stuff, I'm not ready yet.

You are not giving me a chance. Maybe I'm a joke to you. You give me the best of you, to being nice people. You dont have to do that, this little heart thinking differently, think that hope appear. Funny. I keep thinking there is possibility. Maybe its possible, but I just broke this all. stop it. Get a life, move on pit.

Yes, I already did. Since the first choice is to block you all. Haha. Damn, this kid is really childish. But the only way purpose. A small gratitude. I feel ease, I feel responsible for my own feelings. I have to make decision. This is not true. And stop overthinking.

whole life. I crush on you. Funny. So long.

I'm sorry, I didnt mean it. I'm not rejecting the offer to give you a ride. I'm not but I did. I have one job, actually. To take an action that day. You give a chance, with a help of your friends. But I do ignore all of them. Simply, my heart was not ready, my mental was not ready, my attitude was not ready. Me, myself, was not ready. For having you.

Thank you for all the memories, that simple smile, a care, and devoted love.


Your dearest fans.
21/09/2019 Congratulation for both of you.


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